this will stay in scraps until I can stand to look at it again.
how it feels to be ashamed of yourself.
how it feels to watch the nurses curl their lips at you
and to have the doctors roll their eyes and declare you 'incurable'.
how it feels to have the judgement of strangers you've never met.
how it feels to wish everyday, for death.
I'm no longer on lithium and quetiapine, but abilify and clozapine (antipsychotics) and some antidepressants.
I suffer from type I bipolar disorder with psychosis and borderline personality disorder. I go in and out of hospital for my psychosis due to the bipolar, and occassionally when I'm manic or depressed.
quinine - a bitter alkaloid extracted from chinchona bark. Medicine used in malaria therapy
quetiapine - antipsychotic medication for bipolar and schizophrenia. (I am a person living with bipolar).
Lithium - a mood stabiliser used for people with bipolar disorder.
carcinogenic - chemical compound that causes cancer.
Pieces from hospital can be found in my gallery. For example:
Stories From the Psych Ward
I'm so cold I feel it down to the bones,
sitting in the dining hall trembling
over my cup of tea. A huge Christmas
tree twinkles merrily beside me in red, blue, silver, pink and gold.
Patients huddle together outside to talk,
but I'm forbidden to join them,
trapped inside the ward on a category four.
They're all strangers to me, I've spoken to no one.
Smoking their cigarettes in faded pajamas,
looking tired and worn down,
lips twisting into smiles as the smoke
curls down into their lungs.
Nurses find me hiding from evil spirits in the cupboard.
They let me stay inside, safe until the panic stops and
the shadows di
preview can be found here, with thanks for the stock
Thank you so much everyone for your support and lovely comments. They mean the world to me
and best wishes to all of the other 'roses' out there