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Submitted on
March 30, 2012
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The paramedics lift me effortlessly
and deep in an ocean of sleep
I swallow the tube.
My lungs fill,
my throat as red and raw
as my softly beating heart.
Breathe, breathe.
My lips exhale
as soft and pale
as baby's breath
on the white pillow
of the hospital.
Asleep in the deep and gentle
pull of a coma
stirring with the quiet whirr
of machines keeping
me alive.
My hands shake
and reach
weakly for the touch
of my family
breathe, breathe.
This is a very painful piece about my last hospitalisation. I was psychotic (due to type 1 bipolar disorder). I took an overdose and went into a coma. Machines kept me breathing until I breathed on my own. They said I was lucky to wake up at all, and very lucky to live without brain damage. I'm still trying to heal.

I hope I conveyed the hope I have here for recovery and a new life. I'm trying to face my illness with courage and face each day as a battle instead of looking ahead to much. It's a hard road, but I think I'm doing better. It's been almost three months now, and I'm trying to put my life back together. I'm back at uni, studying and I'm on new antipsychotics that work for the first time in six years.
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:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Student Writer
:hug: One day at a time, no one can ask anything more.
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:iconrosaryofsighsx:
RosaryOfSighsx Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
:hug:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Student Writer
:hug: :)
Reply
:icontoaakatsuki:
ToaAkatsuki Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I sense pain, but this piece also seems.. soothing to me. Very powerful.
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:iconrosaryofsighsx:
RosaryOfSighsx Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
thank you :hug:
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner May 7, 2012  Student General Artist
What a grim story this poem tells. Getting help is not alway magical as kids romanticized, and is more likely by laying on a bed at a white room of your hospital cell, with tubes, pills and papers written about your conditions. I can imagine the loneliness and waste of time you feel from having a mental disorder, embittered by the fact it's keeping you from living life to the fullest unlike other people without mental problems.

Good job with this, I liked it. =)
Reply
:iconrosaryofsighsx:
RosaryOfSighsx Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
thank you :hug: very true
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner May 8, 2012  Student General Artist
Hey, you're welcome. =)
Reply
:iconalittlebitoffaith:
alittlebitoffaith Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2012
I'm proud of u for telling this story .
Reply
:iconrosaryofsighsx:
RosaryOfSighsx Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2012
thank you :hug:
Reply
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